Emotionally unavailable, part two
by maggieprewett
Summary: More from Severus Snape and Maggie Prewett, Molly Weasley's younger sister


She stood by the window for a long time, thinking about him, longing to be back in his embrace. She finally dimmed the lights and went to bed, but could not sleep. It was strange enough being back at Hogwarts – walking in the front gates, she felt like a schoolgirl again. The kiss had only brought her awkward teenage years into sharper focus. She tossed and turned and it seemed like she had only just fallen asleep when sunlight began to stream through her windows. She stayed in bed for a while, then summoned for breakfast. She did not want to face him, especially not in the presence of 200 students, not to mention the faculty, some of whom were her former teachers. She hoped a bath would make her feel better.

The bathroom was almost as large as the bedroom. The tub alone was as big and as deep as a small swimming pool. She relaxed in the warm water with her coffee and tried to shrug off the previous nights events. She would forget about it – she had a job to do, and he was depending on her to do it. She stepped out of the tub and into her bathrobe, wrapping her long red hair in a towel. Outside was a nearly perfect day – the sky was bright blue and cloudless and the lake on the grounds sparkled in the sunlight. She was just thinking about getting dressed to go for a walk when there was a knock on the door - her heart leapt. She sprang up from her seat still wearing her bathrobe and went to the door. She opened it partway, peering into a sea of black robes.

"Good morning," she stared at him for a moment. The awkward feeling she'd tried to shrug off had remained and she wasn't prepared for his presence so early in the morning.

"Morning, Severus," she mumbled. "Come in." She opened the door wider and pulled her robe closed around her neck.

"I – you weren't at breakfast."

"No," she said without looking up. He stood there staring at her. She looked so innocent, vulnerable in her white robe with her hair in a towel. He was speechless. She finally looked up at him. Her eyes were bright green and soulful. Their sparkle was gone, and he was afraid that it was his fault.

"Maggie," he whispered without realizing he'd said her name. She shook her head sadly and closed her eyes. He took a step toward her; they stood just inches apart. She sighed without opening her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her head, pulled her close to him and pressed his lips against her cheek. He took a deep breath, taking in the soft perfume smell of her hair.

Why was he doing this to her? She was powerless in his arms. She felt like her legs were melting underneath her. She let out her breath and crumpled in his arms, sliding her hands up on his chest. She sniffled. He looked at her face – she was smiling but there were tears in her eyes. His heart felt like it was tearing apart in his chest. He couldn't catch his breath - he felt like he wanted to disappear.

"I'm afraid I…" he sighed and shook his head. What have I done, he thought, I have nothing to offer her.

She pulled away from him suddenly, "I have to pack," she said.

"You're leaving?"

"They need the room." She began to gather up her things from around the room, placing them in a large purple suitcase. He watched her dash about the room for a minute, throwing things haphazardly into her bag and felt a sudden desperation.

"Don't go, please...don't go," he blurted out.

"I can't, Severus. I have to." She stopped momentarily and stared at him impatiently.

"Stay with me, just for tonight. Stay with me."

"In the dungeon?" she asked in disbelief. His heart sank. She was right. He didn't mind his quarters deep in the recesses of Hogwarts, but it was certainly no place for someone like her.

"I'm sorry – you're right," he sighed and turned to leave.

"No wait – alright – I will. Just for tonight." He turned around and faced her, astonished. She managed a little smile. "Let me get dressed, then you can help me with my bag."

"Certainly. Yes. Thank You."

She disappeared into the bath. He sat down on the edge of the bed and waited for her.

He held open the heavy dungeon door and she stepped inside, giving a little shiver and zipping her robes closed. He started to put her bags down and, noticing her shiver, flicked his wand toward the fireplace. A warm blaze flared up and she relaxed in its warmth. In the firelight, she noticed a tray set up next to a chair with three bowls containing fragrant potions, which she recognized as the ones that she had prescribed for his wounds. Wordlessly, he sat down in a hard wooden chair next to the tray and opened his shirt. She studied him with a concerned expression and then began to work, tracing his scars gently with her fingertips. He gave a little shudder at her touch; she felt as if her heart was burning in her chest. Stepping back, she replaced the potions on the tray and sat down on his knee, draping her arms loosely around his neck and looking in his eyes. He looked back at her, meeting her eyes - they were cool and green in the semi-darkness, but he could not read their expression. He was used to people looking on him with a mix of revulsion and fear, and he didn't understand what it was that he saw when she looked at him. Emotion seized him like a sudden spell from an invisible wand, catching him off of his usual guard. He tried to stop it from welling up, but it was no use. He buried his head in her hair and sobbed.

They sat there for a long time. She held the sobbing professor in her arms, cradling his head and stroking his hair. Her heart went from burning to breaking - she pressed her forehead to his and rubbed her cheek against the side of his head, too crushed to speak or even move. He looked up at her at last and she wiped away his remaining tears. He smiled weakly at her.

"Alright, then?" she asked

"Alright." She slid off of his lap and stood up sliding her hands into his, then turned away from him and sat on the edge of his bed. She needed a break from the intensity, and at the same time wondered how she'd ever be able to leave him here at the school by himself. Of course, it could hardly be said that he was by himself with over two hundred students and several dozen faculty and staff, but she knew that he kept with him terrible secrets that even she was only beginning to learn.

"If you'll excuse me," he said, buttoning his robe, " I have classes to teach today."

"Of course. I was just going to take a walk – beautiful day out today," she said, looking around for a window and finding none.

"Yes," he said with a half-smile, "Nice day."

The grounds of Hogwarts were quiet, as all of the students were in classes. Maggie strolled the grounds behind the school and found herself at the doorstep on the gamekeeper's cabin. She smiled when she saw the enormous gamekeeper inside, humming loudly as he went about his housekeeping. She knocked at the door and it flung wide open.

"Well, my stars, if it isn't Miss Maggie Prewett!"

"Hi, Hagrid!"

"Come in, come in – I'd heard you were here – takin' care of our Potions Master, are ye?" he said with a wink and chuckle.

"Wow, word travels fast around here."

"Tha' it do indeed, tha' it do."

"Uh, yeah, I'm just...helping Professor Snape with – " she stammered, "with a little, um – " she shook her head. She knew better than to reveal too much to Hagrid, at least if she didn't want half of Hogwarts to find out.

He raised an eyebrow, "A'righ' there?"

"Uh yeah, I'm alright – it's just a little issue that Severus has – you know how he is."

"Tha' I do – tha' I most certainly do."

She smiled and relaxed, grateful that he wasn't going to push the issue. They sat down to tea and homemade rock cakes, which she softened with a wave of her wand when he turned his back. Maggie had been homesick her first year at Hogwart's. Hagrid had been the one to notice when she was feeling particularly low and always found a way to make her laugh. Even when she made friends and began to feel like she belonged, she never forgot his kindness. They caught up and reminisced for an hour or two until they started to hear voices outside lining up for Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures class.

"Well, don' mean to be rude bu' I go' a class to teach – Care of Magical Creatures, I' is!" He said proudly

"That's great, Hagrid! I need to run into Hogsmeade for some things anyway."

"Well, tell Madame Rosmerta I says hello, then!" He smiled with a wink and was gone.

She walked into the village of Hogsmeade and spent the afternoon shopping and catching up with familiar witches and wizards she remembered from her days as a student. She stopped into the Three Broomsticks for a bite to eat, and to give Hagrid's greeting to Madame Rosmerta, the barmaid, and before she knew it, it was after dark. She walked back to the school smiling, feeling more relaxed and content than she'd been since leaving school.

She returned to the dungeon still smiling. The door to the Potions Master's quarters was cracked open and she pushed it in. Inside, the Severus Snape paced back and forth in an anxious frenzy. He halted suddenly at the sound of the door opening and whirled around. Seeing her, he let out a deep breath, like a balloon deflating.

"What's wrong, love?" she asked breathlessly before she could stop herself.

"Where have you been?" he asked sternly. "You weren't at dinner, nobody had seen you - I couldn't find you anywhere."

"I'm sorry – I went for a walk, spent some time with Hagrid, and ended up in Hogsmeade for the rest of the day."

"I thought you'd left me," he added quietly, softening his tone. "Then I saw your things here – I thought that something had happened to you."

"What? What did you think had happened?"

"I don't know – just something – something awful, I suppose." She was rather concerned about his excessive worry and she began to wonder if he knew something that she didn't about the safety of the school. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. He shuddered, closed his eyes, and squeezed her tightly.

"Did you have supper, then?"

"Yes, I did – at the Three Broomsticks."

"Three Broomsticks? By yourself?" he asked, his face darkening.

"Yes, by myself," she laughed. "Everyone else was too busy teaching or whatever." His face remained unchanged, sending a chill through her so that her smile quickly faded.

"Do me a favor, now," he said, with a steely tone, sounding again much more like a professor than the sobbing man she'd held in her arms only a few hours ago. "Let me know where you're going, and please – don't leave the grounds by yourself."

She wanted to be offended by his rather condescending tone, but his anxiety at her absence betrayed a pure motive behind it, and she was touched by his concern.

"Let's have a look at those scars," she said, abruptly changing the subject. After weeks of treatment, they had faded to a pale white, but they contained a powerful dark magic, and she was worried that they would return. He undressed and she uncorked a bottle of wine she had bought in Hogsmeade. She poured two goblets and handed him one.

"Drink this – you'll feel better," she winked at him. He smiled and chuckled. It was the first time she'd heard him laugh, and it was intoxicating. He was a complex personality, shrouded in many tough layers that were slowly melting away. She sat down beside him and they sipped their wine while she worked on him.

When she finished, he leaned back in his chair. "Thank you," he said, smiling contentedly. She returned the smile, satisfied that she was making a difference.

"I hope you don't mind, but I have some work to do tonight," he said

"No, not at all. I bought some books today and I'm anxious to start reading."

"Good." He stood up, "If you'll excuse me," he bowed.

Maggie spent the better part of the night reading. She could hear Severus next door in his office, coming and going through its door. At eleven o'clock, she heard him leave for night rounds.

When he returned to the dungeon, she was already asleep in his bed. He sat down on the bed beside her. Her hair had fallen in waves over her face; unconsciously, he lifted the lock of hair with one finger and smoothed it back behind her ear so he could see her face. He had never seen anything so beautiful, and it took his breath away to see her there in his bed. She awoke when she felt him touch her, but kept her eyes closed, enjoying his gentle touch. He stroked her hair and slid into the bed next to her. He lay there for a long time looking at her before drifting off to sleep. When his breath became deep and even, Maggie drew herself in close to his back and slid her arm around her waist. It startled him awake, but he did not turn around. Instead, he slid his hand into hers and drifted back to sleep.

The next morning when he awoke, her arm was still wrapped around him, her hand in his. He did not want to get up – he told himself it was because he didn't want to disturb her – but he had to teach a class. He slid out from under her arm and she awoke, raising herself up on her elbows.

"Good morning," she said sleepily

"Morning," he said, smiling. His hair was mussed and he looked sleepy and disheveled. She, on the other hand, looked perfect – her hair forming an auburn halo around her porcelain face. He wanted to sit back down but resisted, afraid he wouldn't be able to get back up.

"Going somewhere?" She asked

"Yes," he said. "I'm going to eat breakfast, and then I have a class to teach."

"Ah, yes. Class."

"Yes, class. I am a professor, after all." She grinned and put her head back down on her pillow.

"Have fun!"

"What, you're not coming," he said teasingly, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Not today, love." Love. It made him weak to hear her use the word. This time however, he didn't mind it at all.


End file.
